Kung nag-audition ako sa Pinoy Big Brother, ang reason ko kung bakit ako dapat maisama sa lineup ay ako ang epitome ng Filipino quarter-life crisis. I'm 24, still in college, surviving off my allowance, living in a single-person room sa isang boarding house and too early to be nostalgic for my youth.
In my defense, gagraduate naman ako from my arts-inclined course this March. Sobrang hilig ko manood ng non-blockbuster movies na may soundtrack with feelings tulad nung sa movie na Garden State. Produkto nun mostly is me being depressed and finding myself relating to the characters na may midlife crisis. Parang never ako nag live in this present moment. Namimiss ko yung past and masyado akong excited sa future.
Past:
-Never having a care in the world
-Getting shitfaced and waking up somewhere else
-Spontaneity
-Being idealistic (too idealistic) about life
-Writing and sketching a lot na hindi academic requirement
Future:
-Gaining income to fulfill my dream of being able to travel
-Gaining income to finance expensive hobbies or sports
-Moving to a new country
-Full independence
I feel like masyado na akong matanda to have no cares in the world pero masyado pang bata para mag-enter the real world at masapak ng malupit ng tinatawag na Reality. Parang di na ako pwede mag-aksaya ng panahon sa mga bagay na wala namang kinalaman sa present short-term goals i.e. writing, sketching. Kailangan grumaduate. Yeah sure, we have intellectual conversations about movies and dreams and shit pero to me they're just rainbows and unicorns. Puro kwento di naman namin nagagawa. Una, di namin afford financially. At pangalawa, di afford ng time namin. There are so many other more important things I should be doing right now pero.. Fuck that. :-)
So share ko lang yung movies:
Stuck in Love
The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman
Liberal Arts
Almost Famous
