Para Kay Migo

Sabi nila, ang matapang ay walang-takot na lumalaban.

Ang sabi ko naman: Ang tunay na matapang ay lumalaban
Kahit natatakot.

-Jose F. Lacaba, Tagubilin at Habilin

Alam niyo yung pakiramdam na tumayo sa medyo edge ng platform ng LRT o MRT tapos may dumadaan na train? I love that feeling. Lalo na kapag nakikita ko sarili ko sa salamin kahit sobrang bilis na ng takbo and at the same time nakikita ko ang mga tao sa loob nito. Di sila gumagalaw pero actually mas mabilis pa ang displacement nila. The best part - when the last cable car passes at dahil sa siguro torque at aerodynamics, para bang hinigop na ng train ang kaluluwa mo and it leaves you breathless. At yung bonus pang sudden silence pagkatapos niyang dumaan.

This is how I feel pag kasama ko si Migo.

Ngayon, single na ako. Single na siya. Wala kaming pananagutan sa isa't isa pero ewan ko. May um something kami pero everytime we try to talk about it, wala kaming napapala. Malabo pa rin at magulo. We never seem to come to a compromise and I dont trust myself with him. Pakiramdam ko he doesnt trust me either. 

Parang tren lang, hinahayaan ko ang sarili ko na maramdaman ang pagbulusok nito sa hangin, pinapakinggan ang pagkaskas ng bakal sa bakal. Kahit alam kong mapanganib at ipinagbabawal ang pagtayo ng sobrang lapit sa tren, hinayaan ko lang ang sarili ko na maranasan ito.

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PS.

Parang ang sikat na ni Migo sa blog ko ah. 

Tampok rin siya sa mga sumusunod na entry:

1. http://carnalcircus.blogspot.com/2010/09/habang-atin-ang-gabi.html

2. http://carnalcircus.blogspot.com/2010/08/high-and-dry-but-wet.html

3. http://carnalcircus.blogspot.com/2010/10/kinantot-ng-malas.html

Your Favorite Mistake

Bago tumatak sa isip niyong completely heartless ako, I'd like to share with you a picture of the sweetest bouquet I've ever receieved in my life.

Let's say it's from M.

I met M when we were college freshmen, dormmates in a residence hall aptly called "Kalayaan". We were both not from the Metro Manila area. He was from Bicol. Uragon. Visual peg : Hermes Bautista from PBB Double UP. He had the same body build, same facial expressions and same bad-boy appeal but a little bit shorter probably.

Nakilala ko siya nung second sem na, when he started showing up at dorm activities for which he looked extra tasty. We went out a few times and he made the mistake of giving me a phone when I lost mine. And I lost the phone he gave me after 24 hours. Saklap diba. Nag-sorry ako pero he even laughed about it, "Ano ba naman yan, bibigyan na nga lang kita ng 5110. Haha!"

There wasn't anything extraordinary about his personality. He was nice, not too sweet, sobrang galante and I was always the boss. He showed up to the culminating activity at the end of the year where um residents' academic accomplishments were recognized. Hindi naman siya mukhang matalino at nagulat ako nung tinawag yung pangalan niya para kunin ang certificate. Apparently, college scholar siya which meant that his weighted average was 1.75 or better.

After dinner, he gave me this:

A flower he just took from one of the tables' centerpieces and wrapped it with his certificate.

That was three years ago.
During the summer, I just stopped responding to his messages and we lost contact.
I haven't received a sweeter bouquet since.
And he probably hasn't made a bigger mistake than me.

Kinantot ng Malas

 

 I saw this picture sa Google nung tinype ko yung "bad luck" sa search bar.

Sabi nga nila, no one dies a virgin because life fucks with you at least once.

Mag-iisang buwan na akong celibate. Oo, by choice, MY choice. Practice lang para sa self-control shit that my mom told me about. Kaya mga two days ago, napagdesisyunan kong yayain si Migo* na mag celebrate naman. Celibate and then celebrate. Okay. Basta the point is, uhaw na uhaw na ako at kailangan ko nang madiligan.

Sa boarding house ng mga kaibigan, sa gitna ng pagkanta nila "lupang uhaw sa pag ibig, naghihintay sa halik ng langit":

CC: "Argh I'm under a dry spell and I need party favors."

Friend1: "Have you seen Friend2's sin pouch?"

CC: "What in the world is a sin pouch, niGgaHfoOL?"

Friend2: "Ito. Ang mahiwagang sin pouch."

May iniabot siya sa akin na transparent pouch thing with a black zipper at kita ko sa loob ang lubricants, condoms at isang black pouch.

CC: "Ano 'tong black, ang sin  pouch ng sin pouch mo?"

Friend2: "Girl, buksan mo kasi."

Handcuffs. Handcuffs and drama ng ate mo 'te.

CC: "PAHIRAM."

Later that day, sinamahan nila ako para magpa-Brazilian wax. First time kong magpawax ng chururus. Pagdating ko dun, papers papers, fill-up, pinapasok ako sa kwarto tapos binigyan ng tuwalya at pinahubad. May kinuha lang si ate magwawax sa labas at pagbalik niya, pinahiga niya ako at siya pa ang naghubad ng towel ko. Parang, ATE WAIT LANG. Hindi ako prepared eh. Brazilian wax virgin ako nun at para bang ginahasa ako bigla. Every hila niya, "Puta, sakit." Tinatawanan ata ako ni ate beneath her face mask of deceit kasi nakikita ko parin ang mata niyang nagsa-smize. Smile with your eyes (c)Tyra Banks.

The following day, ready na ako at lahat tinext ko na si Migo para sunduin ako sa dorm nung gabi na iyon. Iniimagine ko na kung pano ako huhubad, sasayaw at ipakita ang mga hidden talents ko habang naka-handcuffs siya tapos biglang BAM! May period pala ako. Perfect timing. Brazilian wax, mygad sayang. Handcuffs, eh I sprayed Lysol on those and semi-sterilized them pa.

Buti naman at hindi masyadong nag-expect si Migo so kumain nalang kami ng dinner at chumill with friends sa may Katipunan.

*Si Migo ay na-mention sa nakaraang posts rin tulad ng ITO at ITO!