Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Older men

At dinner you said, "Ayaw ko kasi yung ganun, biglang sasabihin na gusto mo makipagsex. Mas maganda parin yung subtlety." 

Two days before we had dinner, I told my friend that I was so sure of my attack plan. I was just gonna ask "So you wanna fuck or not?" Ganun ba talaga pag 28 na? You're just 5 years older than me but damn boy, you oldschool.

I'm not the best when it comes to these mind games and Im getting tired of the mixed signals you send. Offering to take me straight home after we have drinks with friends? Seriously?

5 dinners and 3 and a half weeks later, I was so ready to let it go.

On thursday, you took me for what I thought was our last dinner and drinks together but as we were about to head home, you leaned 90% right in front of me. I had my back on the car door and i could feel the raindrops on my shoulders. Your breath was warm on my lips, your hands felt electric on my waist, my heart was beating so fast and I leaned the rest of the 10% of the way. When we shared that kiss, I thought "I win. I always get what I want."

Maybe it was you, maybe it was the rain and the cigarettes, the late nights. I didnt want to fall asleep because that would mean waking up to a morning without the smell of your perfume.

Me: "Last na 'to ah. Di na ako magrereply. Mahirap na."
You: "Bakit naman?"
Me: "Masyado na akong natutuwa sa iyo eh. Para iwas gulo."

That was last night.

Today, I bought a pack of menthol cigarettes. I hate menthol cigarettes. Laughing a bit to myself when I paid the cashier. I'd do anything just to feel a bit closer to you. 

You have 24 hours to change my mind about what I said.